Purpose Driven Life (Day 23)

Haha how funny and amazing is God? I have been struggling through some stuff and I stopped reading PDL. But after writing my post on failing the bar exam, I decided I needed to start moving forward again. I needed to continue to grow, because I think that this is a big part of my current experience, continuing to grow into a mature Christ like Christian. SO how is it that on the day I decide to get off my but and start growing again that day 23 is about spiritual growth and maturity.

Spiritual growth is not automatic, it takes an intentional desire. Its kinda like when you are into a girl, you like them. You can think about how much you like them and hope that they miraculously fall in love with you or you can get up off your but and go talk to them and start building that relationship.

You must want to grow, decide to grow, and persist in growing. You know I want to grow and I am working on it. As I hit these little bumps in the road I need to persist. If you have been following this blog you may remember the Randy Pausch blog and that these bumps or walls are just a test to see how bad you want something. I really want to grow in Christ super bad so I gotta get over these walls.

The funny thing about climbing over walls is that it builds something within you, a strength, it builds character. Like working out you get stronger and your muscles grow, in a similar way when you persevere through these tough times you grow spiritually, you mature.

The awesome thing about all of this is that you don’t have to go at this alone. God is right there with you, sometimes he is the Lt. Oneil helping you over the wall. He isn’t going to just expect you to workout on your own, He will be right there with you. He is working on the inside and giving you guidance with his Holy Spirit.

I’mmmmmmmm Baaaaaaaaaaack

Haha not that I have a huge readership like Mikespace’s blog or Pastor Scott’s Thoughts, but as some of you who do read this on some what of a regular basis may have noticed I have been absent for a couple of weeks. Well first of all I just got lazy and second of all just dealing with some personal issues. I wasn’t going to share these issues cause well they are personal, but I decided that well I should.

So as most of you know I want to be a lawyer. In order to be a lawyer you need to pass the bar exam. Well I have taken the bar exam three times and this past Saturday I found out I failed for the third time. Now this might sound like a bad thing, and it kind of is, but not really. Don’t get me wrong, it sucked to find out that I failed again, and for a little while I was riddled with doubt about my self worth, and it kinda felt like I got sucker punched by Fedor, but after about ten minutes it passed.

I know that probably sounded weird so let me kind of explain. I guess first of all I have to say I know God has a plan for me. He pretty much says it all in my verse, and by my verse I mean the verse that pulls me through a lot of the rough patches in life, the verse is Jeremiah 29:11. It says For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

It is so comforting to know that God has a plan for me and it is a good plan. It helps to know that the bad things, well they aint from God. He is pretty clear that He is going to prosper me, He will give me hope, and He will give me a future. This is something that has been troubling me for a while. I guess I just get impatient. I really need to remember that awesome song from the music machine – have patience. In His timing these promises will all come to fruition, I just need to be patient and do the things that He wants me to do.

Patience is not the only lesson to be learned here. There is also perseverance. What’s the big deal about perseverance you may be asking yourself. Well if you are a Christian perseverance produces character and character produces hope and hope does not fail us. This hope that Paul talks about is not like I hope I win a million dollars or I hope I catch a fish on my next trip, that hope will disappoint us. The hope that Paul is talking about is a hope that will not fail us, its like money in the bank, you know its there and you know its good. You can count on it filling your heart with the love of God.

Even if you are not a Christian perseverance still has some value. Perseverance makes the value of your accomplishment that much sweeter. If we don’t fail we don’t know the joys of success. We have become a society that expects everything to be handed to us right away, when we want it and how we want it. But that leaves us empty without a sense of accomplishment.

Failures also teach us how to succeed. Even the greatest people of our time and the greatest athletes have failed. Kaala sent me a video of Michael Jordan’s failures. In it he talks about how his failures have led to his success.

So in the grand scheme of everything where does this leave me. It leaves me in a pretty good spot. Why? Because I know I am right where God wants me, and while at times it is frustrating because things are not happening in my time, I can rejoice because they are happening in God’s time and I can stand firmly on His promise that He has a plan to prosper me and give me a hope for the future. Even though there are tough times in this life I can rejoice because I am blessed. I have been given one of the most awesomest families ever, the coolest friends, a home, a job, food on the table, a comfortable life, dreams that will come true, and the ultimate gift of eternal life.

Purpose Driven Life (Day 21)

This was kind of an odd chapter, it appears that Pastor Warren was looking for a new chapter so he could make 40 days, haha maybe I just don’t get it. He definitely has some good things to say today, but it seems more like a rehash of previous chapters. What I found most interesting was that He quoted a German pastor who was killed resisting the Nazis during World War II. This pastor suggested that disillusionment with the church was a good thing because it destroys our false expectations with the church.

This is a common thing I hear from non-believers. They are somehow frustrated with the church because of hypocrisy, lying, or some kind of bad experience with the church. It is hard for them to understand that we are all human and make mistakes. I guess because over the years the church has killed people for sinning and there has been so much condemnation from the church that they figure it is easier to live without the guilt that comes from sinning. They can basically do what they want but doing it outside the church means no one is breathing down their neck.

I can understand that, but what they really need to know is that Jesus loves them and that they need grace and Jesus will provide that grace, if all they would do is ask. That is the other thing I think non-believers struggle with, heck even Christians struggle with this concept. Grace, how can anyone love us so much that they are willing to forgive us for our sins. The people we love most don’t always forgive us for our transgressions against them. Hopefully they will experience the real love of Christ and learn what true love really is.

I guess that is part of my mission is to show love to everyone. Show Jesus to the world and what He is really about, not about condemnation or persecution, but love. How do we show this love, haha I don’t have that quite figured out yet, but I imagine it is living more like Jesus lived.

Purpose Driven Life (Day 20)

Wow halfway point!  Always exciting when you can see an end in sight.  I have read this book before, but I feel like I am still learning a lot from it.  Kind of surprising actually, I thought I knew myself pretty well, but I am constantly learning something new about myself every day, especially because this book is spurring me to think and evaluate my life.  It is so strange to realize I really don’t know me all that well, especially because I have been living with myself for like 31 years 4 months and 10 days.  You’d think in that short time I would kinda know a lot about me, but haha I really don’t know that much, good thing that guy God is there to guide me.

So as I was saying last time, normally when faced with conflict, my M.O. is to run.  If I do stick around to face a conflict I tend to try and appease the other party, basically tough it out.  Its not that I am a doormat, but I guess my actions are more like Neville Chamberlain’s sometimes.  So how do we really do this.

First step talk to God.  My friend, the other day called me with a problem he was having.  He asked me to pray for him as he prepared to face a difficult situation.  This was a good lesson in that we need to go to God first. When we take it to God first, He will provide us with the guidance and wisdom that we need to deal with the person and conflict.

Second we need to be proactive.  We can’t let things fester and grow like a cancer.  We need to tackle the problem.  God was pretty clear about this when He talked about communion and He was all like look if you have a problem with a bro, go take care of it and then come take communion.

Third sympathize with their feelings.  Spend more time listening and less time talking.  This is a tough thing to do.  As guys we like to fix problems and we honestly believe we have the answers, but sometimes we need to just shut up, sit down, and listen.  I know its tough to believe but I don’t have all the answers and sometimes I need a different perspective.  This whole sympathizing thing can be especially tough, especially when you are a tough macho guy who doesn’t have a lot of sympathy within himself.

Mr. Warren would say then you need to admit your fault in the conflict.  I don’t know if I agree with this or not.  I know a lot of times conflict is not one sided, but sometimes you have nothing to do with the fault of the problem.  So do you admit something just to admit something, that seems silly to me.  Now if you did have a part in the conflict than this is a good place to start, but ahh I don’t know.  I guess if you do the other things this part sort of just falls into place.

Now once you get into the discussion of the conflict, I think it is important to remember that you need to attack the problem not the person.  On that same token if you are on the offending side then you need to have faith that the person who is bringing this to you, is not bringing this to attack you, but to deal with the problem.  I worked as a mediator for the South County Courthouse in Chula Vista.  A lot of the problems I got to mediate could have been solved if people would discuss the issues and not the opposing party.  It was my job to get them into a discussion that attacked the problem and not the other person.  Seeing this I know how tough that can be.

Finally work towards reconcilliation.  This doesn’t mean that you will come to an agreement on the issue per se, but it does help us to establish and maintain the relationship, which should be the ultimate goal.  I think that was the most comforting feeling about the situation I discussed yesterday, it wasn’t that there was this amazing resolution, but more a peace in that things were moving in the right direction because of facing the conflict.

Hang in there and give it up to God and you know it will be all G-money!  I know some of you out there reading this are social workers, therapist, psychos(not like norman bates but like Dr. Phils), and stuff like that, so I look forward to reading your comments and suggestions.

Purpose Driven Life (Day 19)

In talking about real fellowship, Mr. Warren talked about cultivating a culture of real community.  It was a basic primer on relationships.  It is something that can be applied not only to church fellowship but also to our lives and relationships.

Relationships take time, a lot of time if you truly want to develop and build deep relationships.  Which for some of us who are impatient, this is very difficult.  In order to do this, in addition to time, you need honesty, humility, courtesy, and frequency.  In terms of relationships I think we can all be humble, at least in the early stages of a relationship and we are definitely courteous, and of course we probably want to spend time with the people that we are building relationships with.  It is not entirely easy, but it is a lot easier than being honest.

We all build up walls and hide behind those walls.  We try to be as open as possible, but there is a fear that festers within us that tells us, if the other person knew the real me they wouldn’t like me.  Another reason we build walls and are not completely honest, is we fear confrontation.  I think that last statement describes me.  I am not sure why, but when my friends who are dating, engaged, married, etc. are having disagreements it used to scare the bejeezers out of me.  I just wanted to run away, hoping that by hiding my head in the sand the problem would mysteriously go away.

As Proverbs 24:26 was interpreted in one translation, it stated “an honest answer is a true sign of friendship.”  Which means that sometimes we need to face some conflicts.  We can’t just dwell on those small things we find interesting or attractive about others.  WE need to recognize that we all have faults and we all make mistakes.  This can lead to some conflict.  We have a choice, we can either face the conflict or we can turn tail and run.

My M.O. was normally to take off and run.  I like a simple life, drama free, and without conflict.  I have recently learned that this is not always the best answer.  In order to foster some of these relationships, I am learning that you have to be willing to face conflict, and use those other relationship builders to deal with them.  Be humble in the conflict, be honest with whats going on, and be able to discuss the conflict courteously.

Recently a situation came up in which there was a conflict.  In my head, that little voice was screaming to run JohnJohn, get the heck out of dodge.  It was eating me up, but I felt like I needed to stop running.  I needed to face the conflict head on.  So I called this person and put it out on the line and laid it out what was bothering me, what the problem was.  Talk about heart pounding, profuse sweating, and lots of tears.  The amazing thing was that it didn’t end as bad as I had played out the scenario in my head.  It didn’t end great, but it wasn’t bad.  It just was.  The cool thing was that it showed me that I can face conflict and that it is not an entirely bad thing.  In the end I think it ultimately ended up strengthening the relationship, well maybe helping to solidify a foundation, but we will see.  It is one of those things only time can tell.

Purpose Driven Life (Day 18)

One of the novel concepts about the home church model is it is supposed to encourage, foster, and grow the fellowship that is talked about in Day 18 of Purpose Driven Life. One of the goals is to get pass the superficiality and get real. Haha if I can quote a now infamous MTV show “This is the true story… of seven strangers… picked to live in a house…work together and have their lives taped… to find out what happens when people stop being polite… and start getting real” Now this is not exactly what fellowship is all about, but it does actually have a bit of insight. True and real fellowship will not necessarily be all nice and polite. Sometimes in fact it gets down and dirty.

You are probably wondering what do you mean it gets down and dirty.  It means we are involved in each others lives.  It means we are leaning on each other in times of hurt, sorrow, and pain.  It means we are being honest and sharing our faults and indiscretions.  It means we have to stop being polite and BE REAL.  I don’t know about you folks, but this is a scary thought.  I have to tell people about all the bad things I do and expose myself to humiliation, which haha I do on a regular basis with my friends already, expose myself to being hurt or ridiculed?  The truth is I don’t have to do this, but by doing these things, I can grow, I can become a better Christian, I can become a better man.

True Fellowship will be full of mercy, sympathy, and grace, just like God.  It is an opportunity to practice what God wants us to be and to have relationships that God wants us to have.  So next time you say I am going to fellowship after church, don’t just head straight for the donut line but go get involved in someone’s life.

Purpose Driven Life (Day 17)

My apologies to those who actually take time out of their lives to read this.  I think I am finally recovered from the last week/weekend, well enough to get off the couch and back onto this thing to put some of my thoughts into bits.

So today’s reading, well actually like a week ago’s reading was about why we need to be in a church.  One of the reasons was that it helps build spiritual muscle.  This kind of reminds me of my church and some of the changes we are going through.  We have moved from a stereotypical, meet on sunday, etc. to a home based church.

I know this doesn’t make a lot of sense and it sounds counter intuitive, but it goes a long with this building spiritual muscle deal.  Most folks go to church to get fed, but as we mature we should be growing and starting to feed ourselves.  Not that we can do it without help, but hopefully we are growing.  For some of us church became this place where we came to serve and observe, not grow.  I guess it would be like if you went to the gym, talked to a trainer, hung out, you would learn something but would you get into any better shape?  Or would your muscles grow?

The answer is obviously no, and to that extent we are trying to get our “members” to grow.  This is tough and will stretch people, it will require them to pick up a spoon and “feed” themselves, hopefully it will spur them to grow!

The big question would be how do you get the fellowship and other benefits of being a part of a church.  Well the body didn’t go away, just the building did.  The intent is for the people to be a part of a smaller “home or garage” church.  This would be a place where you could get more involved in each others lives and hopefully go deeper with God.  Hopefully it will break down some of those things that intimidate people about church and be a place for people to build their spiritual muscles.

We will see what will happen, but I truly believe that God is leading my pastor and the rest of the leadership team.  And when that happens God is going to totally rock the house!!

Purpose Driven Life (Day 16)

Life is all about love, loving God and loving others. Thats great, but what does it all mean? What is love? Is love a feeling or emotion? Dictionary.com lists these as definitions – a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; affectionate concern for the well-being of others; strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything; the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God. So what is love? I still can’t properly express what love is. I know that God loves me and He loves me so much He sacrificed His Son for me so I would not die, but live. So I know that is love, God has such a strong affection for me He is willing to sacrifice His son. He is putting me before Himself. I guess my search for love continues, how do you express love without knowing what it is?

How do we show love? Do we show love through the small gifts we give or the words we speak? Hollywood, poets, musicians, marketing geniuses, and Hallmark have told us through the years that we show love through these gifts and words. And to an extent that is true, but words are meaningless without actions and we can gifts without love. It seems to me that the key is not in the words that we speak or the gifts that we give but it is the emotion and feeling that we have inside of ourselves. I think the part that scares me is that it is a feeling. Feelings can change. Many people who face divorce commonly say I no longer love my spouse, I did love my spouse, but no more, my feelings have changed. There is nothing concrete in a feeling. A better way to show love is the time you invest in another person. This is not only talking about the amorous relationships but the relationships with your friends and family. People say they love their friends or families all the time, so I say prove it. If you look where people spend their time you can see where their love lies. If these things are truly important and the love is true, then wouldn’t it show itself through how much time you put into that relationship. Its a tough pill to swallow, especially for a guy who is known for spending 140+ hours a week working. To make matters worse, I still don’t feel like I understand love. It seems like I am always chasing love and coming up short. I chase God and feel close to Him and yet there are days I feel so far away. I chase the dating/girlfriend/wife relationship and never seem to catch on. I chase relationships with my friends, but what do I give them in terms of time, a few hours on a Sunday night. It just doesn’t seem to stick or sink in what I should be doing.

So how do I figure it all out? I don’t know, the best answer I have come up with is basically lay it at the feet of Jesus and let His love lead me. I truly need to start praying for God to show me how to be a loving person, not just the people I like, but to all people. I normally don’t like Rick Warren’s little prayers, but this one really caught me and it is something I want to incorporate into my daily prayer life. He says every day when you wake up pray “God, whether I get anything done today, I want to make sure I spend time loving you and loving others.” I know that this is the only way I can truly figure out this love thing. I know He will show me love and teach me to love.

Purpose Driven Life (Day 15)

You know even Christians feel unimportant, unloved, and insecure. I can not say I have never felt these emotions, in fact I struggle with these a lot. I think in this day and age we all struggle with these somewhat. How do you deal with these? Well if you are a Christian, I think it can be somewhat easier, not saying that it will be easier, but it can be. You see we have a family, not just any ordinary family, but a super duper awesome family, we are a part of God’s family. God can and wants to provide the comfort and peace that we so desire. SO when you are struggling and that doubt creeps into your mind, let it go, give it up to the Patriarch of the family and let him take care of it. It is with God we can find peace, because we are part of His family.

Purpose Driven Life (Day 14)

It is so amazing to me how certain things get tied together, and everything just seems to relate. God is super okely dokely like that. Granted some of this stuff is going to relate because it is coming out of the same book, but the stuff that is not, well it ROCKS! Anyways so the thing about struggles sometimes is it seems like God is not there. I am reminded of the footprints poster, and the guy says God how is it that every time something sucky happens in my life, I am walking by myself (cause he only saw one pair of footprints) and God says thats because that is when I carried you! Anyways I am sure ya’all know the story, its pretty pop and all.

Anyways I can relate in that sometimes when things don’t appear, and notice I use the word appear, to be going my way, naturally we want to yell at God not worship Him. But God is always there, helping us out, carrying us through, or as Pastor Warren suggests just standing back and testing our faith. I don’t know if I buy that, and Iam feeling a little too lazy to go really read up about it, but I will focus in on some of the good stuff I feel He did throw out there. I love the fact that God is unchanging, and He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. That is something we can praise Him for even in our despair. I definitely like Job a lot. How impressive he was dealing with all that stuff and still coming out and praising God, I’ll be honest if it was me and half those things happened I would probably curse God. I know lame, but I am human cut me some slack.

The key for me is to remember that God doesn’t leave me. He promised that He would never leave or forsake me, and I can take that promise to the bank, its like solid gold. In these last few weeks of despair for me, haha now I am so being over dramatic about it, but in these last few weeks of struggle, it has been apparent that God has not left me, I know He has picked me up, dusted me off, and handed me something good.

Sorry this post is a little discombobulated. No excuses, but I did want to apologize for it. Have a great day/weekend/week whatevs it may be, and be blessed!!